Having a baby brings a new dynamic to any relationship for sure. However, when I read in the past about working mums still doing the lions’ share of chores at home whilst continuing to be the main breadwinner in the household I’m not sure I really believed it. These intelligent, highly successful women were superstars in the workplace but Cinderella at home? A true dichotomy of roles. I couldn’t quite relate to the ongoing social commentary that women were pulled in all directions, the ‘have it all’ generation had well and truly had it? Surely these were just slightly whiney women who simply needed to outsource their cleaning and ironing in order to live the working suburban dream?
I think I may have been a little naive.
Whilst I could take the opportunity here to man bash, I’m actually going to do a little bit of woman bashing…….metaphorically speaking of course. Sorry girls. Because maybe we can’t have it all, but we still want it. And therefore we drive ourselves crazy trying to give our children home cooked food everyday by preparing homemade chicken and basil meatballs at midnight. We can’t bear the thought of ‘Aunty Maureen’ popping round and recounting tales of our toy strewn, un-vacuumed living room to the extended family that we never see. And we painstakingly hand sew name tags into our childrens clothes for nursery/school rather than ‘giving in’ and using the miraculous wonder-webbing stuff.
But what about the men in all this? Well, they don’t have anything to worry about. The children are well fed, the house is lovely and clean and they don’t even know why you would have to sew name tags in a turtle shaped rucksack. Because we do all that don’t we? Of course, we all cave a little now and then – perhaps have a slightly overdramatic reaction to an overbaked fairy cake and our partner is reminded that maybe they could do a little more to help. “But the football is on at the minute so I’ll make her a cuppa later”. Sound familiar?
I think we women do put lots of pressure on ourselves……..I accept this is not the most enlightened of statements nor can I offer any solutions I’m afraid. I’m too busy wondering when those bloody name labels will actually arrive.